I'm humbled by the miles I've traveled in the past 730 days. Two years ago this morning I set off on a journey of discovery. I was desperate to find peace and to answer questions that I had bouncing uncontrollably within. I honestly wasn't sure I wanted to live another moment.
Everything I felt that I needed to move forward in my life was neatly tucked away in storage, I closed the door. The clacking as the door rolled shut to the life that was no more. I desired peace, but didn't know that I had the strength to find it.
As the door hit the concrete, I reached for the latch and slowly put the lock on the door. The question of WHO would open this door was on my mind, honestly, I prayed within it would be me.
Without a doubt I had work to do, only this work wasn't a home to rebuild or a fence to straighten. It was work within and the darkness scared me to death. I was now a man faced with the reality of my past, I had to face it to move to the future.
Several years before as I stood at my sons grave, the traffic continued to go by without a hint of slowing. I wanted the world to stop, I couldn't afford another second forward. Every second forward was a second farther from the last hug my son and I shared. The distance in seconds was like a spaceship hurling toward Mars.
As I walked away from my things in storage and sat in my car with my hand on the ignition, I knew the days ahead would be difficult. The spaceship was me, tumbling toward a world I didn't understand. Afraid to breath, afraid to blink. Seconds seemed liked hours.
730 days ago I set off on a journey of self discovery, what I found inspired me. What I found within beyond the muck, the despair and the regret was a man who stood strong. "This no more" I proclaimed, "there must be another".
There was and there is. In the darkness I inspired. In the darkness I inspired myself. I will and I can. I found my answers within, the questions vanished.
