Disarming Fear

Today, I'm going to go do something I didn't think I had the courage.  Something for years and years I didn't think twice, I just did.  Little did I know that for just over eight years I would struggle to do this one simple thing, fear has held me paralyzed in it's grips.

I talk about standing up.  I talk about facing things we dare not.  I talk about this and I talk about that, yet within something has had a grip on my heart.  The thought of it has brought me to instant lock down, "I can't". 

Well, today I must "walk the walk".  For me to continue, I must face a fear.  I must disarm it.  Take away it's power.  Take away it's grip.  Without a doubt I fear it, yet to write another word, to share another thought, I must disarm it.

My sons death tore open a wound that will never heal, that's reality.  To be told it will heal is simply a small bandage that will not cover.  That's reality.  To look at it any differently is simply false. To fear it, is making a decision to not understand it.

I choose to learn from it.  To walk the walk, to disarm it.  I respect it, but it will no longer control me.