Can I become...
I had mentioned in a FB post that Taylor came home last eveing and asked me "is it possible to become a better person and if so, how do you achieve it?" This was a question posed to her and classmates at the university. Taylor and I sat and discussed it in detail.
This is what I believe. There was a time, not sure exactly when, but there was a time when I would have answered this with an absolute YES. I was a different person then, not a lesser, just less experienced.
I used to believe that there were some who were better then others, maybe it was because of what they did or what they drove. Maybe it was their career or because when they wrote it was grammatically correct. I would say it was how I was socialized to think and I never challenged that way of thinking.
Then divorce, then death, then divorce. Many miles of reflecting, tears, humbling experiences that have brought me to this moment. When Taylor asked me that question, I sat looking at here because there is a depth to this that I love. It made me dig within, this was not a superficial "ketchup or mustard" answer.
No, it's not possible to "be a better person". Here is why I believe this. I can't base "better" by comparing myself to others success or failures or what I have beyond my skin. I can't base "better" on education or experience.
I'm not a better person then I was ten years ago, ten months ago or ten days ago. I'm simply still me, more defined with more clarity in my life. That doesn't make me better then you, my students or the guy sleeping under the bridge.
If I say today I will be more patient so that I'm a better person, does that mean that yesterday when I wasn't patient as I pushed to complete my days goals that I was a bad person?
The question isn't as simple as it seems when you begin thinking beyond the surface. The point I'm trying to make is that nothing beyond "within" makes you better or worse. Taking the time to look within and make decisions deeper then "ketchup or mustard" will not make me better, it simply leads me to peace.
If you're someone who looks at a nice car or a big house or a flashy dress and think, "they're better then me", I want you to know that when you take all the external away you're left equal. It's not me up here and you down there, it's us.
Be safe and well my friends, not better or worse, just be yourself.